be delusional

just woke up and felt like writing another blog.

i think i'm delusional. writing these posts every day, hoping people will actually read them. but then again... isn't being delusional actually good?

what if you believe in something so much that it actually happens? that's exactly what happened to me.

i was about 10 years old when i got my first laptop for my birthday. after spending way too much time playing minecraft, i stumbled upon something that would change everything: discord bots.

it was fascinating seeing how these bots worked. i needed to know how to create them. but here's the thing - as a 10-year-old kid who spent all day playing fortnite and minecraft, i had absolutely no idea how to write a single line of code.

i tried learning through tutorials, but let's be honest - i was either too lazy or too distracted by games. so instead of actually learning, i found youtube videos that just gave me the code directly. no explanations, just "copy this and you'll have a bot."

after looking at tons of code, trying different bots, changing values here and there, and discovering github... it clicked.

i was definitely a skid. i'm not denying it. i used code that wasn't mine, claimed it as mine, and ran with it. average skid behavior. but here's the weird part - this actually helped.

i went through so much code, analyzed it, wrote small pieces myself. over and over again until i actually wanted to create my own project. and somehow... it worked!

even though i was lazy, even though i barely understood what i was doing, i was delusional enough to think i was a real programmer. i didn't even know what a "skid" was back then.

after a while, something shifted. i started creating my own projects - small things at first, but they were mine. doing this over and over again, i programmed so much that i literally had to beg my parents for a new SSD.

breaking that cycle of constantly copying everything, i began building new things almost every day with my own code. i was genuinely happy. i finally understood how everything worked.

i learned web development, picked up new frameworks, and started making decent money while still in middle school.

and here i am. i know how to code. i can build projects on my own. i can buy the things i dreamed of back then.

it's not a special story, really. but the fact that being delusional for so many years helped me achieve what i wanted to be? that's crazy to think about.

so what am i trying to tell you today?

be delusional. (just not for weird things)

sometimes believing in something impossible is exactly what you need to make it possible.