worth it

i'm so tired.

working so much, i don't even know if it will be worth it at the end. i just hope for there to be success at some point.

why do i work? for money, obviously. you can do so much with money, if you just have it.

i know there are so many people saying "money doesn't equal happiness." it really depends though. if you're born into a rich family, not having to worry about a single penny, you aren't qualified to say this. it's just a fact.

you will never see me crying in my lambo driving to my private jet so i can enjoy myself on a 5-star holiday.

so what do i want to do with money?

first, i want to make my parents proud. i want them to understand that i actually work hard for my future.

second, i don't want them to work anymore. like, not at all. they've done so much for me i probably would never be able to pay them back in my whole life, no matter if it's millions or whatever. being born is priceless to me.

without them, i would never even have the opportunity to do this, to achieve my dreams.

so retiring them is my top priority. or at least give them a nice vacation, even if it's not much (which i'm already actually planning this year).

weird. this went from me being tired of working to me appreciating what my parents did for me. kind of a weird thought that i'm writing today.

but maybe that's how gratitude works. it sneaks up on you when you're exhausted and thinking about why you push yourself so hard.

every late night, every project, every line of code - it's not just for me. it's for them. for the people who believed in me before i even believed in myself.

that's what makes it worth it.

the tiredness, the uncertainty, the grinding when i don't know if it'll pay off - all of it becomes worth it when i think about what i want to give back.

maybe this will enlighten someone who reads this. just maybe.

but right now, i need sleep. tomorrow, i'll keep working toward that dream.

for them. for me. for the future we're building together.